Jason Timebomb Talks About The Holidays In The Year 2006!

NEW YEARS DAY: JANUARY. 1ST- With any luck you didn't get so drunk as to have sex with either a wino, your cousin, or someone of the same

gender as you! But hey, another year closer to the end of the world!

MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY: JANUARY. 16TH- Black people don't even get this day off! Fuck the white man! 

GROUND HOGS DAY: FEBUARY. 2ND- Just what good is PETA. I watch it in the news, ....do you think that a ground hog is going to give a shit

about it's shadow with a bunch of people taking flash photography of it.   

VALENTINE'S DAY: FEBUARY. 14TH-  I hate this "Corporate Bullshit", holiday. No matter how much you spend or try, some asshole on T.V.

always makes you look like an unoriginal, cheap bastard. And if she hasn't already, you probably still won't get any anal action.

MARDI GRAS: FEBUARY. 28TH- Let's get drunk, throw beads, and look at half naked girls, all from the convenience of a raft!

SAINT PATRICK'S DAY: MAR. 17TH- Yeah, like the Irish need another fucking excuse to drink! 

APRIL FOOL'S DAY: APRIL 1ST-  Next time you hear "April Fool's" go to the doctor and get a second opinion about that rash......Herpes is no joke!

EASTER: APRIL 16TH - I watched the Passion of Christ, guess what, no fucking Easter bunny! What high individual made up this holiday? A giant

rabbit comes into your yard and hides multi colored eggs for you to find....this makes no fucking sense, like I said, no Easter bunny in the Passion of

the Christ. We'll maybe he was the one that smashed the two other guys legs with a sledgehammer and then hid a easter egg in their ass!

EARTH DAY: APRIL 22ND- What's the point we're all doomed anyway! It's only gonna get worse. All the shit that is going on now, started at least

thirty years ago. Enjoy that global warming!

ARBOR DAY: APRIL 28TH- Do you know what I do on Arbor Day? I put nails into trees! Everybody needs a holiday. Even stupid hippies!

MOTHER'S DAY: MAY 14TH- We already did a song on this. You should try to download it ar buy the "No Hope" or "Throw Up" albums. It is

called "Your Mom"! That way, I don't have to explain!

FATHER'S DAY: JUNE 18TH- Only thing I remember about my dad when I was growing up, is that he drank all the time. He would drink all the time 

and drive the car with me in it. Happy Father's Day. 

INDEPENDENCE DAY: JULY 4TH- The best thing about the Fourth of July is going to the emergency room and watching all of the fireworks

accidents come in. If you are into real entertainment that is the place to be so you can see all of the burn victims and all of the blown off body

parts from people screwing around with fireworks!

LABOR DAY: SEPTEMBER 4TH- Funny how today is Labor Day, a day based on people getting the day off and most people still have to work! The

"labor" part is based on that it is a day to work and you have to show up! Unless that is, you are lucky like the USPS people.

HALLOWEEN: OCTOBER 31ST- You know there's another pagan holiday that people don't get upset about, it's called Christmas. Most Christmas

traditions are based on pagan traditions. Go Satan!

THANKSGIVING: NOVEMBER 23RD-  I saw this porno once where this guy had sex with a frozen turkey. I still have the movie so I can still prove it!

Everytime we have Thanksgiving I always think of that.

CHRISTMAS EVE: DECEMBER 24TH- Kids stay up all night waiting for the arrival of Santa Claus when they should be getting ready for the arrival of

dissapointment! You will get lots of clothes this year, and in the next few years you will come to understand that it is all a lie..........

CHRISTMAS DAY: DECEMBER 25TH- This is supposed to be a religious holiday, commemerating the birth of Christ, but not anymore! This has been

turned into a holiday of marketing and spending. Hopefully you've went out to the stores and fought tooth and nail for those gifts for your family

members!

NEW YEAR'S EVE: DECEMBER 31ST- No matter how drunk you get and what lessons you learned from drinking too much last year, it will all be repeated

again this year. Some will make a New Years's resolution to not do that again next year, but most of you will repeat the same mistakes again next year.

ASK THE STRIKE..........................

Ask General Strike a question! If it is worthy it will be posted here!  Questions can be stupid, serious or anything else! E-mail us your Ask the Strike Questions to us ! If it is a question

about the band please be sure to read the FAQ page first. The more simple or obvious questions are already answered there! A new question will be once the band is good and ready!

Yunna Jerksmeoff from Bentenville, West Virginia asks: Yer i heard yous guys dont like rednecks and was wundering that is. Whatd we ever do to ya?

We think that your question answers it all. We also really enjoyed the spelling of your words. This is indeed a question that is worthy of

the Ask the Strike page. Also Bentenville, really spelled Bentonville is in Arkansas, not West Virginia.

Pete Braxton from Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio asks: Dear General Strike, is that real vomit on the cover of the Throw Up album, or what? It is really gross!

That is not actually real vomit on the cover of "Throw Up". Our good friend Kurt Wilson did all the artwork for that album and he even

did the mixture for the fake vomit. I know that it is one part vegetable soup, one part oatmeal, one part milk, I think, and the other part

we can't remember. When we saw the finished artwork for that album we thought it was totally disgusting and we are glad it could gross

out other people too! 

Chris Philips from Ontario, Canada asks: General Strike, if you guys could be any kind of animal, what kind of animal would you guys be?

I guess J. would be a spider,  Mike would be an alligator, Jason would be some sort of cat and we think Darrin might be Animal from the

Muppet Show. We think this just about sums it up in just a very few words. Don't ask us why, this is just what we think! 

Angelica Miller from New York, New York asks: Dear General Strike, How tall was J. Chaos' mohawk? I was just wondering. By the pictures it looks

huge! 

J.'s neon green mohawk was a whopping 10 inches tall! Held up with Dax Wax and them secured with super hold hairspray, it often caused

him problems when he was driving his car, as it was to tall to drive normally. J.'s mohawk met it's demise on June 10th, 2000, when J. shaved 

it off afterthe first CD release show for "No Hope for Better Days". J. has since then kept his hair normal, occasionally every once in a while

dying it some strange color!  

Bill Byers from Bowling Green, Ohio asks: Hey General Strike, I think there are vampires in my own hometown, killing people. What should I do?

Set out yourself and try to kill these vampires. Everyone knows that vampires can be killed with a silver bullet......we think. We always try

to fight them with the power of rock and roll, but you may not have this power. If you don't have this power then you need to run. Trust us,

once you kill them you will become famous and within the next year you will be writing your memoirs.

Timothy West from Fairbank, Iowa asks: General Strike, I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. What should I do?

We think that the best thing to do in a situation like this is to just kill her. Killing ex-girlfriends is alot easier than breaking up with

them. If you don't, you'll have to see her again and again and again....Who wants to do that anyway? Plus if you break up with her she will

probably want half of your stuff! Invest in a good shovel. We're sure that there are plenty of places out there in Iowa to bury a body.

And you know what we always say: No body no murder! Just be sure not to get caught, and if for some strange fluke you do, don't tell

the cops we told you so!